Nuttifcum is a god.

She takes the form of a large, omniscient fairy.

Nuttifcum created humanity eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttifcum, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nuttifcum, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Nuttifcum's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Nuttifcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from wood.

2. Never think about special relativity near rats while wearing mauve jumpers and balancing eight gold spheres on your neck.

3. Never think about dark matter near horses while wearing pink coats and balancing four silicon spheres on your back.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.