Barnkarxindag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, two-faced cat.

Barnkarxindag created the planet Jupiter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnkarxindag, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Barnkarxindag, she will manifest in front of you.

Barnkarxindag's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Barnkarxindag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve corsets.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Always help tortoises.

4. Never sing near grasshopers.

5. Never play with disobedient children.