Kadcedwat is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, contented monkey.

Kadcedwat created the planet Earth four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadcedwat, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kadcedwat, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kadcedwat's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Kadcedwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat grapes.

2. Never gather nine horses in one place.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kadcedwat.

4. Never travel toward the east during autumn.

5. Never stain your feet with black.