Tifstipnar is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, witty lion.

Tifstipnar created water four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifstipnar, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tifstipnar, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tifstipnar's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Tifstipnar's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near sharks while wearing magenta ear rings.

3. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

4. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Hide from mauve frogs for they are unholy.