Lipontbaf is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tiresome grasshopper.

Lipontbaf created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipontbaf, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lipontbaf, she will remove you from existence.

Lipontbaf's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Lipontbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not consume aubergines at dawn.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.