Arfhonman is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, clever coyote.

Arfhonman created silver eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfhonman, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arfhonman, he will turn you into a goat.

Arfhonman's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Arfhonman's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all dreams.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never feed peas to dogs while wearing green tights.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.