Apphuglib Lakvinpon is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, self-assured hippopotamus.

Apphuglib Lakvinpon created the cosmos six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Apphuglib Lakvinpon, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Apphuglib Lakvinpon, it will turn you into a frog.

Apphuglib Lakvinpon's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Apphuglib Lakvinpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow sharks to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not prepare bananas while filled with joy.

3. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

4. Always remove coats before touching carbon.

5. Erect six copper sculptures of Apphuglib Lakvinpon on top of important buildings.