Bonkbigmon is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, all-knowing seal.

Bonkbigmon created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbigmon, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bonkbigmon, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Bonkbigmon's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bonkbigmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Never chant in the presence of elders.

4. Always treat ducks with great respect.

5. Never prepare lentils during summer.