Dissgigbass is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, blissful skunk.

Dissgigbass created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dissgigbass, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dissgigbass, he will jump up and down on your head.

Dissgigbass' most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Dissgigbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not fashion tools from platinum.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never eat turnips.

5. Never speak the names of planets aloud.