Rillpitmat is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical penguin.

Rillpitmat created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rillpitmat, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Rillpitmat, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Rillpitmat's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Rillpitmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near seals while wearing mauve trousers and balancing six titanium spheres on your feet.

2. Shun those given to greed.

3. Feed all hungry whales.

4. Always wear plain hats during rituals.

5. Never write about planets.