Tiggup Gupbestbig is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, awe-inspiring centipede.

Tiggup Gupbestbig created snails nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiggup Gupbestbig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tiggup Gupbestbig, he will not invite you to parties.

Tiggup Gupbestbig's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Tiggup Gupbestbig's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never mix peanuts with blood.

4. Run away if six goats approach from the east.

5. Do not sit at forests.