Ponbapjig is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, calm lion.

Ponbapjig created a down quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponbapjig, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ponbapjig, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Ponbapjig's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Ponbapjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near otters.

2. Always obey Ponbapjig's priests.

3. You must love Ponbapjig.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Pray towards the west.