Listcitfot Rullbadvab Yikdonyar is a god.

He takes the form of a small, merciless elephant.

Listcitfot Rullbadvab Yikdonyar created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Listcitfot Rullbadvab Yikdonyar, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Listcitfot Rullbadvab Yikdonyar, he will turn you into a mouse.

Listcitfot Rullbadvab Yikdonyar's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Listcitfot Rullbadvab Yikdonyar's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

5. Do not stand on grass.