Nilrapgam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, stupid coyote.

Nilrapgam created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nilrapgam, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nilrapgam, he will not care.

Nilrapgam's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Nilrapgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

4. Never paint your chest brown.

5. Learn five new languages a year.