Funmanpad is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, amazing unicorn.

Funmanpad created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funmanpad, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Funmanpad, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Funmanpad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Funmanpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never leap near sharks.

4. Never mention capybaras.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.