Tifcimyim is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, boastful grasshopper.

Tifcimyim created the Virgo Supercluster three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifcimyim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tifcimyim, he will turn you into a snail.

Tifcimyim's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Tifcimyim's Holy Commandments

1. Always store lentils above ground.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics.

3. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

4. Always share bananas with strangers, but never with mites.

5. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.