Gabfotdit is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, competent mole.

Gabfotdit created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabfotdit, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gabfotdit, it will turn you into a mouse.

Gabfotdit's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Gabfotdit's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss eukaryotes in public assemblies.

2. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Always remove shirts before touching silver.

5. Do not chop down trees.