Fobdamsin is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unthinking dugong.

Fobdamsin created the planet Mars eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fobdamsin, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fobdamsin, he will remove you from existence.

Fobdamsin's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Fobdamsin's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

3. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.

4. You must love Fobdamsin.

5. You must never eat wheat.