Tonkgatvid is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, generous octopus.

Tonkgatvid created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkgatvid, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tonkgatvid, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tonkgatvid's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tonkgatvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Never speak at dusk.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never jump in the presence of porpoises.