Madbanmif is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, emotional bear.

Madbanmif created humanity seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Madbanmif, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Madbanmif, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Madbanmif's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Madbanmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill badgers.

2. Never pray while filled with envy.

3. Always store peas above ground.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never hop near turtles.