Bumcumfet is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, capable shark.

Bumcumfet created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bumcumfet, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bumcumfet, it will turn you into a hamster.

Bumcumfet's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Bumcumfet's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never wear blue shirts.

3. Always help monkeys.

4. Shun those given to vanity.

5. Never talk about mites.