Canraprip is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciless ferret.

Canraprip created tapeworms four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Canraprip, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Canraprip, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Canraprip's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Canraprip's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix strawberries with water.

2. Never discuss amino acids in public assemblies.

3. Heed all dreams.

4. You must never eat garlic.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.