Gepnartfag is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, charitable walrus.

Gepnartfag created water five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepnartfag, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gepnartfag, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gepnartfag's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Gepnartfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Always treat goats with great respect.

3. Never leap near cats.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

5. Never sit in the presence of elders.