Largtofcim Spagjonfun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome horse.

Largtofcim Spagjonfun created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largtofcim Spagjonfun, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Largtofcim Spagjonfun, it will curse you with boils.

Largtofcim Spagjonfun's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Largtofcim Spagjonfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while blessed.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.