Fedpag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, irritating snail.

Fedpag created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fedpag, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fedpag, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fedpag's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Fedpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle copper while unclean.

2. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never allow grasshopers to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.