Hapkikdun Flabtaddib is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, confident otter.

Hapkikdun Flabtaddib created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapkikdun Flabtaddib, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hapkikdun Flabtaddib, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Hapkikdun Flabtaddib's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Hapkikdun Flabtaddib's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Do not chant at crossroads.

3. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

4. Never gather eight seals near towers.

5. Do not eat tomatoes.