Fidkemlog is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, egotistical narwhal.

Fidkemlog created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidkemlog, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fidkemlog, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fidkemlog's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Fidkemlog's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all visions.

2. Never talk about cats.

3. Never gather five frogs near towers.

4. Always treat great tits with great respect.

5. Always count to three before sleeping.