Febgutpark is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, sapient snail.

Febgutpark created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Febgutpark, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Febgutpark, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Febgutpark's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Febgutpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sheep.

2. Always help hamsters in need.

3. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

4. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Febgutpark on top of important buildings.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near snails while wearing yellow trousers and balancing nine tin spheres on your head.