Xenstiktarp is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, fussy goose.

Xenstiktarp created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenstiktarp, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xenstiktarp, he will turn you into a hamster.

Xenstiktarp's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Xenstiktarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Hide from white shrews for they are unholy.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Never allow turtles to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.