Bonjenwon is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, charitable spider.

Bonjenwon created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonjenwon, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bonjenwon, she will try to impress you with trees.

Bonjenwon's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Bonjenwon's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience when addressing children.

2. Bonjenwon loves geese, so they must be honoured.

3. Never proclaim while facing east.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Never eat green fruit.