Vogponort is a god.

She takes the form of a large, ruthless rhinoceros.

Vogponort created Africa eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vogponort, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Vogponort, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Vogponort's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Vogponort's Holy Commandments

1. Always share melons with strangers, but never with eagles.

2. Put Vogponort first in all things.

3. Never eat parsnips.

4. Never stain your head with yellow.

5. Never think about special relativity near seals while wearing violet scarves and balancing five platinum spheres on your neck.