Zimnulwad is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, stupid goblin.

Zimnulwad created vertebrates nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimnulwad, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zimnulwad, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Zimnulwad's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Zimnulwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse oil with water.

2. Never speak at midnight.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near great tits while wearing green hats and balancing four lead spheres on your head.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.