Sabsafmet is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, omniscient yak.

Sabsafmet created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sabsafmet, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sabsafmet, it will remove you from existence.

Sabsafmet's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Sabsafmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never allow squirrels to witness sacred rites.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

4. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

5. Never feed lots of lentils to manatees while wearing black shorts.