Artcunjab is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, generous lobster.

Artcunjab created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Artcunjab, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Artcunjab, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Artcunjab's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Artcunjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record signs concerning galaxies.

2. Always count to five before sleeping.

3. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

4. Do not consume turnips at dawn.

5. Always help sick porpoises.