Zigflagdim is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, humane cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Zigflagdim created life seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zigflagdim, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zigflagdim, she will come to you in dreams.

Zigflagdim's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Zigflagdim's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zigflagdim.

3. Never pray while filled with pride.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.