Gess is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unsympathetic lion.

Gess created the planet Jupiter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gess, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gess, it will turn you into a duck.

Gess' most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Gess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt whales.

2. Gess must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never mix tomatoes with oil.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.