Bassruthim is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, moody spider.

Bassruthim created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassruthim, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bassruthim, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bassruthim's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Bassruthim's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bassruthim.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

4. Do not eat grapes.

5. Respect your elders.