Yakarnjen is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awesome clam.

Yakarnjen created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yakarnjen, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yakarnjen, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yakarnjen's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Yakarnjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of elders.

2. Hide from brown whales for they are unholy.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not hurt eagles.