Parkkarcan is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, irritating fly.

Parkkarcan created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Parkkarcan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Parkkarcan, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Parkkarcan's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Parkkarcan's Holy Commandments

1. Always store parsnips above ground.

2. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.

3. Do not gather at doors at dusk.

4. Put Parkkarcan first in all things.

5. Never eat limes.