Pintifcibbapkimflan is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, staggering narwhal.

Pintifcibbapkimflan created the planet Venus eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pintifcibbapkimflan, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pintifcibbapkimflan, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pintifcibbapkimflan's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Pintifcibbapkimflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in summer.

2. Do not step barefoot upon orange earth.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Pintifcibbapkimflan loves snails, so they must be respected.