Pankabbest Febcipfatbum is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, blissful mole.

Pankabbest Febcipfatbum created the Black Eye Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pankabbest Febcipfatbum, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pankabbest Febcipfatbum, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Pankabbest Febcipfatbum's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Pankabbest Febcipfatbum's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

2. Never hurt capybaras.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never prepare corn during summer.

5. Never approach rivers carrying ash.