Kabpanglog is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, uncaring eagle.

Kabpanglog created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabpanglog, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kabpanglog, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kabpanglog's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Kabpanglog's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather three seals near walls.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never run near tortoises.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.