Yimlitfar is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, almighty pig.

Yimlitfar created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yimlitfar, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yimlitfar, she will come to you in dreams.

Yimlitfar's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Yimlitfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist chaos.

2. Never eat carrots on days of mourning.

3. Never stain your arms with magenta.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never sit in winter.