Jonfigcab is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, calm skunk.

Jonfigcab created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonfigcab, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jonfigcab, it will not care at all.

Jonfigcab's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Jonfigcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to rats while wearing yellow rings.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Pray only in darkness.

4. Worship no other gods but Jonfigcab.

5. Never look in ponds.