Wegnuttjam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, wise swan.

Wegnuttjam created a photon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wegnuttjam, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wegnuttjam, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Wegnuttjam's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Wegnuttjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow grasshopers to witness sacred rites.

2. Never gather six mice near bridges.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never eat apples.