Mapsugmumgat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, passionate swan.

Mapsugmumgat created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Mapsugmumgat, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mapsugmumgat, she will turn you into a rock.

Mapsugmumgat's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Mapsugmumgat's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather eight pigs near bridges.

2. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not prepare corn while wearing coats.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near ants while wearing mauve scarves and balancing five platinum spheres on your back.

5. Never tolerate cries in holy places.