San is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, blissful seal.

San created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in San, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in San, he will turn you into a giant snail.

San's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

San's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Never sprint in the presence of horses.

5. Always act with humility when addressing priests.