Yarttabmil Ladcubyart is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, happy cow.

Yarttabmil Ladcubyart created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarttabmil Ladcubyart, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarttabmil Ladcubyart, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Yarttabmil Ladcubyart's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Yarttabmil Ladcubyart's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Never stain your chest with cyan.

4. Always maintain patience during fasting days.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.