Tomfodkem Zedtabwapnel is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, strong skunk.

Tomfodkem Zedtabwapnel created everything that exists four million years ago.

If you believe in Tomfodkem Zedtabwapnel, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tomfodkem Zedtabwapnel, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tomfodkem Zedtabwapnel's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Tomfodkem Zedtabwapnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near grasshopers while wearing mauve shoes.

2. Pray only in firelight.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never gather eight mites in one place.

5. Do not gather at bridges at midnight.