Damstikbop is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, egotistical lobster.

Damstikbop created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Damstikbop, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Damstikbop, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Damstikbop's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Damstikbop's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Always obey Damstikbop's priests.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near doves while wearing fawn ear rings and balancing four lead spheres on your chest.